Masters II vs Quinns

25 July 2011 Written by HRSC

Humbug Reporter:
"After what can be undoubtedly described as Hamersley's best performance of the season capped by a hat-trick from Paul. What is the true picture in Hamersley Masters II camp? Unbiased information seems impossible to obtain, everybody wants to put their own spin on events.

Through contacts in at the heart of the Seniors Playing Group we've obtained access to a top official in Tarun's Propaganda ministry. For obvious reasons the player wishes to remain anonymous, our contact is simply known as Frank"

{Cut to Frank, in dark silhouette to conceal his identity}
Humbug Reporter : "From your perspective can you give me an assessment of how you think the game went?"

Frank: "Well early on we had great success, we scored first with ease. The turning point seemed to come in the middle of the second half when we conceded our second penalty. Since then the situation worsened rapidly"

Humbug Reporter: "Frank, can you explain to our viewers your position within the struggling Masters II side"

Frank: "For reasons of my own safety I cannot go into details, suffice to say I'm in daily contact with senior officials, including Tarun himself"

Humbug Reporter: "Do you think a win is on the horizon?"

Frank: "With the current lot, I see no prospect of a win. Further, Tarun's often rode roughshod over his generals and won't stand down"

Humbug Reporter: "Herr Campbell, are there elements ready to depose Tarun?"

Frank: "Can you cut that bit out before transmission, you just used my real name!"

Humbug Reporter: "Sorry, it's a live transmission. Campbell, are there elements ready to depose Tarun"

Campbell: "There are deep divisions within Hamersley Masters II and at all levels. Somebody was recently removed from the team after suggesting that after we surrendered the lead at Wembley was a good day to bury bad news"

Humbug Reporter: "Do you think the leadership is in touch with events on the ground?"

Campbell: "They certainly know what's going on, in fact they know in great detail. However on another level they wash their hands at critical times. For instance in May, we were facing imminent defeat, that day our captain decided to play golf"

Humbug Reporter: "You say the leadership have knowledge of Hamersley's predicament, yet they won't surrender - surely they're not suicidal"

Campbell: "I wouldn't put it past some of them. Seriously though, most of the leadership are planning, or already have, boltholes for themselves"

Humbug Reporter: "Whereabouts"

Campbell: "Mainly South America. Brazil, Argentina etc. seem to be favourite"

Humbug Reporter: "Most of the leadership are from humble backgrounds, and are on miniscule salaries - how on earth can they afford foreign homes?"

Campbell: "Lets say they aren't averse to making a bit on the side. Brown envelopes at the opposition training room is the usual, "

Humbug Reporter: "There has been some criticism regarding the quality of our armaments, is this correct"

Campbell: "The personnel in our team are fine people, but there equipment isn't always up to scratch. This is due to the widespread absences from training, and resultant shortages"

Humbug Reporter: "The leadership have put a great deal of spin on the new so called passing game, just how good is it?"

Campbell: "It is actually quite poor, we've attempted nearly 2,000 passes and less than 100 have reached their target."

Humbug Reporter: "You mean to say, we are unable to hit a target the size of Davy?"

Campbell: "Most don't even hit the same half of the field he is in"

Humbug Reporter: "You don't sound very hopeful, what do you think the future holds for both you and Hamersley?"

Campbell: "For Hamersley, defeat game - in game out. For myself, Team Coach next season, then you'll see"

MATCH FACTS:

1st half
5 mins - excellent move from right back through midfield to Paul Shearon, beat a defender, bottom right.
15 mins - Paul through again but couldn't beat keeper.
30 mins - header across our goal gifted them the equaliser
32 mins - softest of penalties for 'handball' , 2-1 to them (dodgy ref).

We had a chance to equalise before half time from a free kick won by Campbell out on the right, but after the ball came in the resultant shot went just wide.

2nd Half
Again dominated first 20 mins, rewarded with a stunning equaliser as a Mark shot deflected to Paul just inside the penalty area who struck it early and saw it hit the bottom left corner. 2-2 and we had two chances to go ahead, one to Mo and one to Davy. Then we conceded a penalty, but their striker hit it way over.

Then a very soft third, after our goalkeeper picked the ball up and the dodgy ref ruled as a backpass, ball played across from the free kick and side footed in. Switch from 4-3-3 to 3-4-3 to try and get back in, but a defensive failure to clear led to their 4th, and soon after a long range shot made
it 5-2.

Enough time for us to go close again from a quickly taken corner, and finally with a couple of mins left Paul broke down left again and eluded defenders and goalkeeper to slip home his third from the tightest of angles, and complete the first hat trick for Masters 2 in our short history.

Categories

Share This Page